I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
