Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize