i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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