I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
