my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
even my farts smell like vagina
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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