Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
