How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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