just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
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The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
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I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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