Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
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Come see our sink grown plant.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
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LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.