if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
