I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
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