so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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