I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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