In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
