We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
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Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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