my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
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