It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Vodka?
Forever.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
