disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
