he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
