Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
