Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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