My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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