Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
