By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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