chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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