got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
