If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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