In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
