Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sobbing to NWA
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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