New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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