How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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