So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
