it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
