Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
