I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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