Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
