Non-Jews are for practice
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
