wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just threw up on my dentist
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
