So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
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I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
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I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize