I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Randomize