i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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