I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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