her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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