god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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