Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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