I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
