how can u be prego again
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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