I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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