My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
