ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
