Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
