I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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