YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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