i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize