Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
