Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
