It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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