Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Damn victory sex feels great
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
